Lord of the Chocobo's
by bluishdream5
Summary: Squall and the rest were sent on an urgent flight to a top secret military base to be informed about their new mission, but when fights break out in the very beginning, will they last long? Cid is going to look like a real fool if they screw this up.
1. Why us?

CHAPTER ONE: Why us?

It was a perfectly great and sunny day at Garden where all the little SeeD's trained and hung out, with the occasional fooling around.

"When you look at it from above, Garden sorta resembles something cool you know! Like If you put your hands around it in a box. . .it kinda looks like an ant farm!"

Selphie exclaimed trying to lighten the mood.

"Selph," retorted Zell, "there is nothing you can say or do to make this day suck any less!"

Zell began to pace back and forth which is what he does when he gets frustrated but rushed to sit back down when the motion sickness kicked in.

If you haven't guessed yet (which you aren't expected to do by the way) Zell, Selphie and the rest, have been sent on a top secret mission to military base headquarters for mission details.

Flying on the most crippled air machinery, which made Zell sick to his stomache, was supposed to cover the mission so as to not be suspicious, but according to the majority of the crew you couldn't even call it third class flying. Well what do you call flying on a ship that only carries cargo?

"We barley got off the ground so if this is how your gonna be the whole flight, man, I'ma have to throw you out!"

Irvine was constantly arguing. This was no pleasure cruise for him either. He hated waiting for long periods of time doing absolutely nothing.

"Hey," shouted Zell, "you're the one acting like your on PMS!"

There was a thick tension between the two until-

"Hey, I see Cid!" Selphie informed everyone sticking her head out the window, "CID!! HEY CID! CID!"

Zell and Irvine joined her on the window crying out,

"CIIID! YO CID! CID LOOK AT US!"

"Hey, what's he doing?"

"Oh my god is Cid urinating!? On that tree?"

"Oh shit he saw us, duck!"

They all took cover under the window

After a while Selphie was the first to look up and see if he was gone.

"O.k guys all clear" she said then closed the window

Selphie shook her head to get the mental image away while Zell and Irvine cringed when the mental image forced itself into their heads.

"What a nut," said Irvine lowering his head, "Don't look out the window any more Selphie."

Selphie went to sit on an old tire, "Oh okay, at least not until we go above Sky Level."

Zell and Irvine stared at each other. Then they both looked at Selphie. Selphie looked back at them.

"…what?" Zell managed to get out.

"Oh, that's what I call it when you can't see the tiny people and trees and stuff. You know, above the clouds, above sky level." She turned and smiled going back to her thoughts. No one wanted to know what went on in that head of hers.

Zell smacked his forhead, "This is gonna be a freakin long flight to hell!"

Just when things couldn't have gotten worse for Zell, the vehicle began rising high up at a fast level and thus entering…sky level

IN THE CONTROL ROOM

"Phew, we finally got this thing off the ground," pointed out Squall, working all the controls.

"That's my man, all knowing and hot!" Rinoa said hugging him in his chair. Quistis gave a quick sigh and rolled her eyes while crossing her arms which gave her the Ugh get a room please this is so not fabulous kind of look.

"In Zell's defense, it was _him_ who got the engine working. Squall checked to see if it would fly when given the signal." Quistis attempted to correct Rinoa.

"Therefore Squall got it to fly. Not every regular Joe can just take a signal, you know," protested Rinoa.

Quistis scoffed and got this messed up look on her face, "well aren't you the smartest boobs on legs."

"Correction, I'm Squall's boobs _and _legs."

"Rinoa, please stop," pleaded squall. You'd expect him to say more but no.

"Hmp!" Rinoa turned away and as did Quistis.

While staring out the side window Rinoa spotted someone, "Hey, isn't that. . .Cid?

Everyone turned their heads, then in unison, "EUH…"

"Fly higher squall, I think he see's us." Stated Quistis.

"…"


	2. Say what?

CHAPTER TWO: Say what?

After flying over the ocean for one hour and a half the weather began to get gloomy and staring out the window all of a sudden wasn't the funnest thing since 20 questions anymore.

"I spy with my little eye," Selphie looked around, "something round and hairy!"

"A head?" asked Zell if it weren't obvious enough to him.

"No."

"Irvine's ass?"

"No, silly."

"Words hurt man, but my fist is gonna hurt the most!" Irvine remarked coming at him. They both grabbed one another's collar glaring at each other extremely close.

Selphie didn't know what to so she did the thing she does best, complete and utter randomness, "sandwiches!"

They both let go and look at her face as if it turned inside out.

"sandwiches have meat in them, meat comes from cows, happy cows come from California, California is the name of the theme song of the O.C, the O.C is uh umm,"

They kept staring mercilessly.

"Uh a drama, Drama's are in plays. Roman's had plays, Romans contributed many things to our civilization, um like architecture and cement for walls. Walls are in rooms, rooms have corners, I think you should both go on different corners and have a time out!

They each crawled to opposite sides of the room as if the strangest thing hadn't just happened.

Selphie lay in the middle surprised at how well she handled the situation.

Zell broke the silence when he yelled out in pain, "AAH! What the 'ell!"

He jumped up and swooped around like an Indian doing a ritual dance.

"What's your problem!? Stop jumping around like a monkey!"

Irvine tried to calm him down but Zell managed to yell, "Something crawled in my shirt!"

IN THE CONTROL ROOM

"When are we landing squall?" Quistis asked the first question since that terrifying sight.

"..." Squall didn't answer.

"When are we landing, Squallypoo?" squeaked Rinoa

"I really don't know."

Quistis smirked at Rinoa.

Rinoa got slightly angry at Squall which was very rare, but especially possible when Quistis was there to provoke her, "honey, I said, when are we landing?"

Squall didn't reply again.

"Squall, I'm tired of your insolence!"

Squall didn't show emotion though he was well aware of the situation, he didn't like being put in this position.

"_They've only been dating for a week and things are going down hill. She's obviously letting pride get in the way…obviously."_

Rinoa storms off into the only other room there is, the storage room.

As she enters the almost pitch black room with all its creepy contents like large crates for god knows what to hide behind and cob webs so large she could almost barf. Yep, you heard me, barf.

Despite the sinister appearance, Irvine and Zell's constant arguing seemed to keep it alive.

"Will you two shut up!" Selphie yelled surprising everyone, even Rinoa who still hadn't been noticed ever since two minutes ago when she walked in, "this is the worst case of severe 'I-hate-my-friend-syndrome' I have ever seen!"

Zell sneered, "You can't hate your friend Selph, cause then they're your enemy, or a rival."

"Or an asshole."

Thus beginning more arguing. Rinoa on the other hand had heard enough.

"Hello! Are you both fcked in the head!? I've been standing here for more than two minutes and I've had enough of this! You didn't even see me come in 'cause if you did you would have already seen my expression which was pretty pissed!"

"_What? So she wants us all to worry about her now?"_ thought Selphie a little annoyed.

Rinoa stomped across the room to the old tire to sit on but was suddenly stopped by Irvine.

"Move it, cowboy." She demanded pushing him aside.

"Fine, have it your way, majesty," Irvine shrugged.

"No don't go there," warned Selphie when no one else budged, "a tarantula fell out of Zell's shirt when Irvine tackled him and crawled there."

"Ugh," whined Rinoa, "I hate insects."

Selphie looked at Irvine and Zell as they started to crack up.

"Why don't you try to squish it, eh?"

"Yea, how bout it Rinny?" agreed Zell.

"Uh no, I'm not getting my new shoes dirty, but if consequences get dire I'd get squally to do it."


	3. Ironic twist

Chapter 3: Ironic twist

Everyone lay still thinking amongst themselves except for Rinoa who was quietly eavesdropping on squall and Quistis in the other room. Finally Selphie piped up,

"I spy with my little eye," Zell cut her off, "Selph, if you see any more abnormal beings in this room please don't try warning us with this stupid game."

"But its fun," she pouted

"Yeah," laughed Irvine, "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, or gets a flesh eating spider under their shirts."

"Or gets tackled," added Selphie smiling

"Cut it out you guys, you would have all done the same thing."

Irvine agreed, "Yeah if I wasn't here I'm pretty sure Selphie would have done the honors."

Zell gritted his teeth. This is the first time in his life he's ever wanted to punch. . . a cowboy.

IN THE CONROL ROOM

"Squall," Quistis said a little surprised, "why didn't you say anything?"

"She gets like that sometimes, I learn to deal with it."

"Aren't you gonna go after her?"

"And crash this ship?"

"So your saying your just gonna stay here and keep flying this ship . . .with me?"

Quistis whispered the last part knowing he hated when she went all emotional on him.

"You'd be better off flying a ship with a wall."

"_Darn it he loves throwing me in with walls! I'm not appreciating this_"

After a very long while of nothing being said Quistis began, "Squall, you know, I don't really have any intimate feelings toward you," she lied, "I really love you as my little brother because at the orphanage I was always looking out for you."

Squall grunted, "get to the point, I already forgot all that orphanage crap anyways."

"Anyways, there's really no reason for you to give me all these cold remarks because I'm not hitting on you, or looking for a date, I just care about you."

"whatever," was Squall's usual answer. Suddenly the door busted open,

"Stop hitting on Squall! He'll never date you, let alone even leave me for you!" shouted an angered Rinoa.

Quistis was stunned, "W-we weren't talking about dating, we were just talking about carbon dating, and uh relative dating that's all."

"Ew gross," spat Rinoa," you date your relatives? Oh my gosh that's the reason why you told Squall you love him as a little brother!? Squall don't believe a word she says, she's an evil witch!"

"Likewise!" retorted Quistis

Everyone from one room to the next was staring at the two going at it

"Go squall," shouted Irvine, "Two hot girls fighting over you!"

Squall unlike any ordinary teen was anything but excited, the ship began to swoon to its side as everyone collapsed to the ground and rolled to the edge.

Everyone shouted and yelled as squall tried to manage flying it.

"Call mayday, Squall!" Zell yelled bouncing from one side of the ship to the other as it swayed in every direction.

Squall reached for the radio but failed as his chair broke off its hinges and he hit the ground or in this case the side window. Now the ship was permanently flying on its side. Everyone was holding on something except for squall who was seat-belted in his chair stuck on the side window ready to break any second. There was silence and everyone could feel the ship going down.

"Hold on squall, don't move, I'm coming!"

Rinoa reached down to squall's seatbelt and carefully undid it but all of the pressure caused the window to shatter. Rinoa reached for him and grabbed his arm as the chair fell to the ocean, or did it? No splash sound. Could it be, they were over land?"

"Some one help!" Yelled Rinoa.

Quistis carefully climbed over and grabbed his other arm pulling him inside.

Zell was at the controls, "I think I can steer it so it doesn't completely crash."

"We have parachutes, don't we?" questioned Selphie.

"Only enough for me and you," replied Irvine, "What do you say Selphie, lets blow this dump!"

"Don't even think about it cowboy!" exclaimed Squall holding on to Rinoa's shoulder.

"At least one of us needs to survive this, and I think it should be me and Selphie!"

"Guys we have no time for arguing, it seems that's all we ever do, quiet so I can concentrate," Said Zell trying to figure things out.

"Fine," Squall said, "If you wanna jump and get lost on that island, be my guest, but I trust Zell will get us safely down because we all know he's great with mechanics, but whatever if you think a parachute will do better."

"Yeah, I really think it will." Irvine said motioning Selphie to come.

"Sorry guys but finders keepers." Selphie said puting on her parachute.

Selphie climbs over some crates and opens the exit later jumping out

"Geronimooo!" she shouts. Irvine follows her while everyone stares in silence.

He gives them all a thumbs up and jumps off.

Quistis sighed

"I think someone should have told Irvine there was a tarantula on his pack."


End file.
